I like flowers...

See, as far back as I can remember I have always enjoyed the beauty of flowers. Most of the time when I was given an assignment with little guidelines, my muse of choice was flowers or trees. I would paint, sketch, dry, flatten or doodle flowers. So it is only natural that when I look at fabrics I am automatically drawn to fabrics with flower patterns.

Now, I'm not talking Georgia O'Keefe type flowers or floral fabrics that look like they belong in a bad 80's or 90's movie. But cute little colorful wildflower print fabrics. The type of fabric that most people would make a dress for a little girl out of. Somewhere along the line woman were destined to wear garments with big gaudy floral arrangements if they wanted to wear florals.

Ralph Lauren florals, not my type...

Betsey Johnson florals, definitely my type.

See, she's pouting, just like you did when you were little and didn't get what you wanted...

When I put on a dress, top or pair of shorts with a floral print, I don't want to feel like I'm going to church on Easter Sunday because my parents dragged me to it. Rather the church picnic, outside, where I can run around and play games. Flowers are fun, exciting and beautiful in color as such, our garments should be too. No matter what age you are, a cute little flower dress should never make you feel old.

So, here, in truth to my nature, I will continue to work with flowers and solids of course. No more boring fabrics to reach the masses. When I work with fabric I love, I design something that everyone loves...

Here's the Thing...

Somewhere along the line of my journey to my future goals I started viewing the phases of my life as obstacles, that are meant to be conquered. In theory, a good idea. College I believe is where it all started. Halfway through my education I began to see many futuristic possibilities and I forgot to take part in the "learnin" that was happening right in front of me. I told myself that all I had to was finish so I could get to the next phase of life, of my career. Well you can see where this is going. I forgot to indulge in the opportunities that were in front of me. I pushed through to finish college so I could get to the next thing. Of course every career path or lack there of was one repeated failure right after the other. "If I could just get through this than I can do this".

Well, that is no way to live life. Sure there are things in life we don't want to do; I was never too fond of dusting when I was a kid but I got an allowance for it and got to go to the movies later. Another way to interpret that would be; I was fortunate enough to dust in order to make money that would allow me to go to the movies later. A pretty big positive outlook for a child perhaps, but not as an adult.

My opportunity is now. I may not have any money, resources that are falling apart and absolutely no idea how I can accomplish the goals that I have set forth; but if I keep viewing my current predicament as something I need to get through, I may never get through it. I don't know why it took me so long to realize this. My work is something I get to do, not something I have to do. I do not need to just finish one project so I can get to the next. I get to work on and finish a project, and take joy in it; even if I don't get to got to the movies later. Of course I can't dwell too long, I won't ever sell anything if I don't produce it... duh!

Yes I need to push through the hard times and keep moving forward in order to conquer discouragement, but that's not exactly what I am doing. I'm standing outside the door waiting for it to open with nothing to show 'opportunity' on the other side. What am I stupid, I can't BS my way through this one. I have to show my work, as my math teachers would always say.

So, here's the thing, no more talk of my struggles and lessons learned. No more long blogs that only talk about how I must re-motivate myself to keep moving forward. Only post of how I actually am moving forward, fun post with fun things in them. Things that inspire me, things that I would read if I were reading someone else's blog. Yup, that's how it's going to be. This blog should be a representation of my company, my goals and what the hec I think I'm doing...

I can only sit and dream for so long before I have to actually start working, this is the only way to make my dreams come true.

What's the Deal?

Well...

It seems the last few times I have tried to post a blog something so amazing happens (insert sarcasm here). The computer shuts down unexpectedly just before I am ready to post, the battery runs out and auto save has failed, I mouse over the close button on accident. Of course by the time I get the computer back on track again I am in no mood to repeat the lengthy post I had conjured up in my mind. The seemingly motivational post. Oh yeah, these are most amazing things.

Actually they are; why? Because finally after the last crash I realized one important thing, I give in to it. I don't re-write, I don't make the post happen the next day or the day after that. Then when I finally get enough slack from others I begin to write only to realize another thing. I'm not writing for my self, I'm writing to convince others that I know what I'm doing, that I am still moving forward.

Truth is, that although I may be moving in a forward motion I have no idea what I am doing. I have all these dreams and goals and crazy ideas that don't seem plausible. I have no money, a huge debt from college, a past that is catching up with me, and absolutely no assets. All I have is this idea that I can change the way the world views fashion and the way corporate does business. At least the way I see a corporation should do business. I also know that it will work, I just don't know how.

It's like I am playing the ultimate poker game. A game where I have no idea what my hand is yet I keep betting on it. I have to keep betting on it and I have to bet well otherwise my opponent (the devil) will know I am bluffing. Someone (God) however, knows what my hand is and keeps encouraging me to bet. Of course when your sitting at the table placing your bet with all those eyes on you and no knowledge of what you are betting on; well, the pressure to fold can be quite high.

So, in all honesty, here I am, betting high, on hand I have never seen...

Moving Right Along

So, you know whats crazy about getting things done? It's actually doing the things you need to get done. What a strange concept I know. Sure there is never enough time, sure you have a lot on your plate and stress can play a big part in all of it. Yet if you don't do any of the things you wish to/need to do, you definitely don't have enough time. Stuff piles up so high, you can't ignore it even if you try. Hey that rhymed, I've been reading too much Dr. Seuss.

Of Course the feeling of always running and never catching up can become overwhelming, but it is a sure better feeling than being left behind, or never running the race at all. Sure some may choose to stay on the side lines, some are better at support than participation but some make a choice to run the race. I made the choice to run.

I may not be ahead just yet, but I am definitely not behind and I am not stuck with the masses. I am just maintaining a pace at which I can handled for the time being. Everyday I up the anti a bit, some days I hang back a bit further than I would like; but one day, one day soon I hope, I will be a front runner. So, here I am moving at an inconsistent, global warming affected, glacier pace. In my case I hope that glacier melts soon.

Procrastination, Excuses, but Deadlines Must be Met

Some times we get exactly what we want yet it doesn't look like how we had hoped it would. For example, you may get that day off you've been wanting for quite some time but it is at the expense of losing a car window and your bike being stolen. Or you keep wishing for more time to do things and then you get fired from your job; now you have all the time in the world. This is how life on earth is, the constant battle of good and evil or God and the devil if you will. The important part is how you maneuver through the obstacles of life and how your character is reflected to those around you. The important part is that you don't give up.

I had hoped to be at a different point, yesterday, today, in my life, but I am not. I set goals that I don't always meet; there seems to always be a legit reason for this. Of course there is probably a legit reason for me to sit around on my you know what all day too. It is so easy to get discouraged at times like these. Yet letting the discouragement sink in only makes matters worse. Sometimes I just need a swift kick in the you know what. I need to be reminded to not look ahead at the obstacles of the future, to only focus on the ones in front of me. For all I know the ones ahead are a mere optical illusion, wouldn't that be nice. The main point here is that I keep going.

So, I had a goal set for Monday the 24th to open the other Etsy shop, well I didn't. Unfortunately some of the garments I wanted to post did not function the way I wanted them too. I can't find a certain kind of thread so I will have to alter the stitching on one garment. I ran out of time on some other things due to life. Not to mention the other work involved that requires assistance from my photographer and graphic artist (aka: my boyfriend). In my case, this leads to discouragement which can lead to further procrastination, but that is not going to happen.

A team mate from my softball team; in helping me to better throw the ball to the pitcher, told me to take a minute before I throw. Generally after catching the ball I would immediately throw the ball. Sounds right, yet when I did it I would usually miss my target causing a further delay in the game and a possible run scored by the other team. It makes more sense to just take that extra second to set myself up before I throw the ball. Then the pitcher gets the ball in her glove and no one sneaks a run in.

With that theory in mind, I am taking that second to see what I have on the table, literally. See what garments are "store ready" or can be, and which ones I just need to take a seam out of and start over on. I could of just thrown the ball and opened shop up with not do good items for sale, but I would of been doing that just to reach a deadline. So, before the week is over, I will open up Christina Mari on Etsy. Even if it opens with one, dog on good, item for sale, it's opening!

The First Day of the Rest of My Life

Well not really. When I look back I notice I have had a lot of "first days" and guess what they all began the rest of my life. Truth is my life never stops; in fact, it actually repeats itself if I'm not doing it right, (ever see Ground Hog Day). So with that thought in mind today does begin a new journey in my life, a journey I have been on for quite some time now, but today I make it official.

Today I have chosen to keep moving forward. The road ahead is dark and unclear and the weather conditions are extremely foggy. Sometimes I get caught in a spinning tornado, confused in what direction I was headed but a promising wind pushes me in the right direction. I have past the fork in the road with no option of returning. There is a warm, beautiful clearing up ahead; it could be close, it could be far but it is definitely there. The only way to find it is to keep moving forward.

I have completed my intoxicating journey to all that is Last Minute Clothing, www.28daystointoxication.blogspot.com and am ready to continue. So, now what?

Well, the holidays are over and sales don't come as easy, so there is a goal right there:

How to Keep Sales Consistent in the Off Season.

Truth is there is no off season in the retail world, I just need the right product in its right place. Might be time to explore different markets where my product can fit. Some modifications on my current product may need to take place. I need more than a few sales a week.

And yes, the continuous goal, opening the other Etsy shop...

For anyone reading this blog who is unaware of my current situation here is a brief over view. I am a fashion designer who currently sells accessories on Etsy www.lastminuteclothing.etsy.com I have been selling for quite some time now, yet accessories is not my full potential. Sparing the many details/reasons/excuses, my goal is to sell all my designs (ie: clothing) on-line. This of course is only the beginning of many other goals and now is the time to reach those goals.

So, here it goes, a deadline: Monday, January 24th, God willing, I will open 'Christina Mari by Last Minute Clothing on Etsy.

Hmm, I have a lot of work to do....