It seems the last few times I have tried to post a blog something so amazing happens (insert sarcasm here). The computer shuts down unexpectedly just before I am ready to post, the battery runs out and auto save has failed, I mouse over the close button on accident. Of course by the time I get the computer back on track again I am in no mood to repeat the lengthy post I had conjured up in my mind. The seemingly motivational post. Oh yeah, these are most amazing things.
Actually they are; why? Because finally after the last crash I realized one important thing, I give in to it. I don't re-write, I don't make the post happen the next day or the day after that. Then when I finally get enough slack from others I begin to write only to realize another thing. I'm not writing for my self, I'm writing to convince others that I know what I'm doing, that I am still moving forward.
Truth is, that although I may be moving in a forward motion I have no idea what I am doing. I have all these dreams and goals and crazy ideas that don't seem plausible. I have no money, a huge debt from college, a past that is catching up with me, and absolutely no assets. All I have is this idea that I can change the way the world views fashion and the way corporate does business. At least the way I see a corporation should do business. I also know that it will work, I just don't know how.
It's like I am playing the ultimate poker game. A game where I have no idea what my hand is yet I keep betting on it. I have to keep betting on it and I have to bet well otherwise my opponent (the devil) will know I am bluffing. Someone (God) however, knows what my hand is and keeps encouraging me to bet. Of course when your sitting at the table placing your bet with all those eyes on you and no knowledge of what you are betting on; well, the pressure to fold can be quite high.
So, in all honesty, here I am, betting high, on hand I have never seen...
